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[T C]

Hi, Is there still any lurkers left in this group that I could get some
advice on being a caregiver for my father. I use to lurk in here myself
but I havent seen anybody in here lately. Thanks, Tony

[Evelyn]

Post by T C
Hi, Is there still any lurkers left in this group that I could get some
advice on being a caregiver for my father. I use to lurk in here myself
but I havent seen anybody in here lately. Thanks, Tony

Tony, I still check in from time to time.
How can we help you?

[T C]

Hi, Evelyn
I have a father who right now is in a alzheimers home although he
really has vascular dementia plus being legally blind.He does well
there except he still wants to go home after being there for16 months
and he mostly still has all of his mental faculties compared to the
rest of the paitents there. He just turned 84 years old and physically
he is very healthy. He may last another 10 years. He can walk on his own
he just needs to be careful not to fall. Now I have found myself out of
work for a good while and I wondered if tthis would be a good time to
take him out of there for awhile and my wife and I would watch him in
our house with the help of my son and daughter in law who live right
next door who could help us. I could always try it out for a couple
months and if it doesnt work out put him back in. What do you all
think? Is iy worth trying or should I leave things the way they are ?
Thanks, Tony

[Evelyn]

Post by T C
Hi, Evelyn
I have a father who right now is in a alzheimers home although he
really has vascular dementia plus being legally blind.He does well
there except he still wants to go home after being there for16 months
and he mostly still has all of his mental faculties compared to the
rest of the paitents there. He just turned 84 years old and physically
he is very healthy. He may last another 10 years. He can walk on his own
he just needs to be careful not to fall. Now I have found myself out of
work for a good while and I wondered if tthis would be a good time to
take him out of there for awhile and my wife and I would watch him in
our house with the help of my son and daughter in law who live right
next door who could help us. I could always try it out for a couple
months and if it doesnt work out put him back in. What do you all
think? Is iy worth trying or should I leave things the way they are ?
Thanks, Tony

Tony,

My own father is 98 and he also has vascular dementia. Yes, it is
quite different from alzheimers, in that they do seem to have a lot
more of their faculties than other kinds of dementia. My father is
also blind in one eye and deaf in one ear.

Perhaps you can arrange to take him for a few day trips to your house
at a time. Then take him for a week. Don't tell him you are
considering taking him all the time, just see if you can handle the
stress. If you think it won't be too hard, and if your Dad is able
to work with you about such things as baths, toileting, and other
issues, and your wife is OK with it, then why not?

But I think you ought to try it before you do it. You need to see if
it is doable without getting his hopes up too much. 84 is not all
that old, and if he is an easygoing person, it just might work out.

Evelyn

[T C]

Thanks, I appreciate all of your advice. I think it would be a good idea
to try him out at home first temporily to see how he adjusts. I won't
get his hopes up in case it doesn't work out. But if my kids help out
like they say they will that would be a big help. I beleive I will bring
him out tommorrow for dinner and to stay overnight just to get it
started and see what happens. Thanks for your advice and I will let u
know what happens. Tony

[Evelyn]

Post by T C
Thanks, I appreciate all of your advice. I think it would be a good idea
to try him out at home first temporily to see how he adjusts. I won't
get his hopes up in case it doesn't work out. But if my kids help out
like they say they will that would be a big help. I beleive I will bring
him out tommorrow for dinner and to stay overnight just to get it
started and see what happens. Thanks for your advice and I will let u
know what happens. Tony

Tony, one overnight is not going to be a problem (I think). In my
opinion, the problem arises with the never ending stress of having to
care for someone every day all day, 24/7/365.

If you got someone in for a few hours every day to take care of
routine bathing and such, it might be good. Also your dad might feel
better in not having to ask a family member every time he needed
something. Knowing there was a person paid for the purpose of
helping him out, might actually put his mind to rest, as well as
provide some peace for your family.

Evelyn

[Lynn Lynn]

A lot depends on how much your father can take care of himself. Is he
able to get to the bathroom, can he feed himself, bathe, is he able to
get up during the night by himself, etc.

I had to do all that (and much more) and had many sleepless nights. I
shouldn't say "had to". I chose to.

A book "36 Hour Day" was recommended to me by this group and I highly
recommend it. The paperback is not that expensive and it will alert you
to the circumstances that will arise and suggestions on how to deal with
them.

Please keep us posted and ask away. I usually peek in a few times a
week now that not much is being posted.

Lynn

[rin]

Post by T C
Hi, Is there still any lurkers left in this group that I could get some
advice on being a caregiver for my father. I use to lurk in here myself
but I havent seen anybody in here lately. Thanks, Tony

I would recommend www.visitingangels.com!

[Lynn Lynn]

Hi Tony,

I still check in from time to time also.

I agree with Evelyn about "visits" to your house first. My mother came
to live with me in her stage of Dementia and it was very difficult.

She always "wanted to go home" and didn't really understand where she
was.

Being a full time caregiver is very demanding and tiring no matter how
much you love and care for the person. Mom has been gone two years now
and I still feel the effects of it.

Think about it and be sure you have someone to help you.

Best of luck in making your decision.

Lynn